esthergoodchild

I didn't go with him

A Fond Reunion

At the end of last week my sister and niece said they would like to get back in touch after a considerable gap of time and it was lovely to see them although also fairly stilted and superficial in a being strong kind of way. Being a single mum they were a big part of family life for many years, although we differ on parenting styles and incomes and so live completely different ways of life. Even so we really need each other and ought to have made the effort before. They came round unexpectedly on a different day and so I didn’t give them tea which later I felt I regretted, but their visit was at least a start and they saw my autistic son’s, S’s, fantastic collages that he did when home schooled.

Saturday’s moment of joy was when I escaped from my semi to travel to meet with some people who have similar interests in being peacemakers. However, it was not the peaceful peacemakers but a friendly well-tattooed young father and his partner picnicking on the moors who staved off a severe panic in me by assisting me out of a muddy patch and directing me away from potholes and ruts in the track whilst turning the car. The sun beat down and the loving thy neighbour was simplified and facilitated by the care and compassion I was feeling after a prayerful time. If it hadn’t been for them I might still be there now.

Sunday was a lovely church service with some hopeful words from the minister. The feedback from the choir members about my singing was nice to hear as I am new and don’t know the tunes as well as the others yet. They were positive, and the hymns were thoughtful and inspirational.

Then I almost completed the complex Sudoku from Saturday’s paper except for a couple of dodgy eights and nines after a long lie in on Bank Holiday Monday.

In recent months I have been struggling but today’s letter writing and response to emails has been easier and calmer which gives me hope that my opinions might be heard.

Greatest moment of joy this week was sharing a film with my autistic son, S, who now has a telly in his room. He appears to be slightly happier there at present.

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Glad to be Alive

As it’s nearly a fortnight since I visited him I am struggling to envisage him in my mind’s eye, but I need to think positive and so shall try to get involved with this link again to stretch out the hand of friendship to feel self-actualised and to persevere in what are difficult conditions.

Have just discovered it’s World Earth Day today and was fascinated, and fully taken up with for an hour, by watching this informative and beautifully done film about climate change. From what I learnt I am now feeling a little more hopeful that we can all solve the problem of global warming if we pull together and act quickly to reduce CO2 emissions. The scientists and oceanographers in this all bring together in an accessible way with beautiful backdrops and good music the facts and reasons behind what is happening to the earth and why it is important to stop global warming. Look at –

http://thiniceclimate.org/

I am inspired to perhaps set up a bicycle/zero carbon emissions gadgets and services business.

Reasons to be Cheerful at Mummy from the Heart

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Adapting Slowly

Have recently found this blog hop and link that I think you might like and I am going to follow it for a while to aid in my recuperation of the soul.

 

Reasons to be Cheerful at Mummy from the Heart

 

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Although it has been a tough week this week due to learning that my contact with my child is being reduced to fortnightly visits, I have to admit that there are one or two reasons to be cheerful.

1.  I have had two job interviews and this came quite suddenly and with little notice.  I have had my hope restored that things will turn round for me very soon.

2.  The weather had been atrocious for about three weeks until yesterday and I was overjoyed to feel the sun on my face and to know that I had got through the worst of the winter as temperatures crept back to 5 or 6 centigrade having been down to below freezing for what seemed like an eternity.  As I was going to my job interview about helping the homeless I was struck by the sight of a man sitting on the pavement looking pale and wan and as he asked me for some spare change I could not help but feel that he really had done very well to survive the dreadful weather and I gave him some money.   Did you know that it costs quite a lot for people to stay in hostel accommodation.  As I was preparing for my job interview I learnt a little more about housing problems and especially those of young people and teenagers.  I think that this man and I were both very glad to be alive and it felt life affirming to donate to him, something that I have not done for many years since I was in my early twenties.

3.  I saw my child on Tuesday and we watched an old favourite Sense and Sensibility together.  He remembered it so much and watched it and watched it. He loved the music and he was not pacing so much and had good attention to it.  Of course when he was at home he would sit and watch it for a whole afternoon without me and I would know that he was really content.  Where he is due to the noise he flits about and is distracted, there is a pack like mentality between the residents and staff where the very soul of him is distracted by the least little thing such as someone leaving a room or entering a room and he cannot sit through a whole meal in peace.  (Each resident sits on a separate table and the staff come and go all the time and he does not get a sense of community at meal times).

I really am trying not to be negative and do hope that some of this is uplifting to your soul and not too Dostoyevskyan or even Dickensian.

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Where to complain next and how to keep up with the volume of problems

Hi dear reader,

 

There are so many different bodies and agencies involved with supervision and care providers that it gets very tough to navigate through all of them.  There are education departments, social services departments, charities, health providers and also the regulatory bodies.  It is so tough trying to wade one’s way through them.  My child’s life and my own have been thoroughly torn to shreds by the difficulties we have endured over the past two years.  It has not been possible to keep my head above water and so we have not found that our rights to private family life have been restored.

 

My autistic child, Charlie, used to give me so much pleasure.  I am sure that he felt the same way about me.  It is utterly unspeakable what has now happened and how our lives have been affected.  Admittedly we had had a few complaints to the environmental health and police departments about us, but I always had faith that in the end we would be able to get the recognition of our valuable place in the community and the progress made.   Although it was undoubtedly only harassment that was causing my neighbour to be so antagonistic.  It is a total travesty what has occurred and I don’t know if I have the ability to face the adversarial legal system ever again.

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